Writing your personal vows

When you plan to write your own vows, I have some tips to help guide you.

 Photo: Chris J. Evans

Photo: Chris J. Evans

First, remember that there is no wrong way to write your vows. As long as it is from your heart and you are truly expressing your admiration and devotion to your partner, you can't go wrong.

Take some time to reflect on your fiancé. Think about how you felt when you first met, what made you fall in love and when you knew you wanted to get married. Write it all out, let your thoughts flow, you can sort it out later, this is just for brainstorming.

Here are some questions to get you started:

  • What did you think when you first saw your fiancé?

  • When did you know that you were in love/know that this was the person that you wanted to marry?

  • What do you most respect about your partner?

  • How has your life gotten better since meeting your mate?

  • What about them inspires you?

  • What do you miss most about them when you're apart?

  • What are the three greatest things about the person you are about to marry?

  • What does marriage mean to you?

  • What have you supported each other through?

  • What do you want to accomplish together?

  • What is your most favorite memory of your partner?

  • What are the most important things in a relationship?

  • What would you like the whole world to know about your partner and why you love them?

  • What would you like to promise your partner?

Now that you have some material, you can develop your thoughts into an outline. You can start by writing how happy your partner makes you feel, how grateful you are for them and how happy you are to marry your love on your wedding day. Then you can share your reasons why you want to marry your love, perhaps offer the qualities you enjoy about them, a happy memory and your hopes for your future. Lastly, you then share your promises to your partner, and you can add some light hearted inside jokes or personal mottos if that seems appropriate.

Practice out loud and try to keep your vows under 2 minutes. This is a great opportunity to share a moment with your maid of honor, best man or a close family member. You can practice in front of them and ask for feedback. They will most likely feel so honored that you have asked for their assistance and practice will help you feel more comfortable on the big day.

Don't feel pressured to memorize your vows, sometimes that takes the emotions out of your statements because you are too concerned trying to remember what you want to say.

Hand write a nice copy and also make a digital copy that you can use as a back up from your phone if available.

Lastly, save your notes from your vow writing exercise. They will be a sweet keepsake that will probably include more details and memories that may have not made it into the vows but will be nice to reread down the road.

Read on for Real Vow Examples

 Photo: Annamae Photo

Photo: Annamae Photo

When I first met you, I had no idea how much my life was about to change.

Because being with you has brought me so much happiness, laughter, joy and love. 

You have shown me how to seize each day and not waste a moment together.

You have taught me how to see the good in all situations and appreciate the smaller things in life. 

You have brought me a lifetime of memories filled with adventures I never thought I would have. 

You have guided me in reaching the goals I didn't think I could achieve.

You have challenged me and encouraged me to aim for the stars.

You have not only made this life better, but you have made a better person out of me. 

And for that, I promise to always give you my best. 

I promise to uplift and support you in all your endeavours, even if it's the Himlayas.

I promise to inspire you, so you will never let go of your dreams.

I promise to be there for you with unlimited kisses and cuddles in times of need and love. 

I promise to never quit and to love you unconditionally always and forever.

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Name, you are nothing short of extraordinary and I am so grateful to be able to spend the rest of my life with you. You are my best friend, the love of my life and my everything. I love you more than you'll ever know and I will continue to love you for as long as we live and I cannot wait to start this new journey with you as your wife. 

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Name** you are my greatest love and the best thing that has ever happened to me. It is through loving you that I have become a better man. I am truly grateful and forever thankful that you have chosen me as the one to share your life with.

**, I promise to respect you, to put you first, to protect you and care for you.

I promise to be faithful, to provide for you, inspire you and to love you unconditionally.

I promise I will always be there by your side, holding your hand as we navigate through this world together and whatever life brings us.

I promise to encourage you to be the best you can be, to make you smile and laugh and to show and tell you how much I truly love you each and everyday.

Thank you for being as crazy as me and willing to live this life to the fullest we have jumped off bridges, climbed mountains, swum with sharks and travelled around the world. I am looking forward to a lifetime of adventures together as husband and wife.

**, you are my best friend, my soul mate, the love of my life, my everything. You are all that I need in this world and I truly adore you and love you more than you will ever know.

**, I promise to grow old and grey with you and make a wonderful, happy, loving life together for as long as we live. I cannot wait to start this journey with you as your husband.

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I vow to be the best wife, partner, lover, mother and best friend to you. I promise to always give you my best and do my best. Wherever we are, I will always make it home for you and me. I will hold you in my heart, have you in my thoughts, in my prayers and in my soul.

Now to the important stuff-- I promise to always share my food with you, kiss your boo boos, shave your head, help you with your outfit, keep our cars in top top shape and even most important, take care of our fur babies (pets' names and stepchildren's names)

I promise to always make you laugh, make you cry, just make you feel. I promise to be inspired and give inspiration and be the reason you want to wake up every single day. I loved you then, I love you now and I will love you forever.

I vow to be the best wife, partner, lover, mother and best friend to you. I promise to always give you my best and do my best. Wherever we are, I will always make it home for you and me. I will hold you in my heart, have you in my thoughts, in my prayers and in my soul.

Now to the important stuff-- I promise to always share my food with you, kiss your boo boos, shave your head, help you with your outfit, keep our cars in top top shape and even most important, take care of our fur babies (pets' names and stepchildren's names)

I promise to always make you laugh, make you cry, just make you feel. I promise to be inspired and give inspiration and be the reason you want to wake up every single day. I loved you then, I love you now and I will love you forever.